Next Stop....SINGAPORE!

After seeing all the promos of discounted flights gone by, we finally able to grab a promo from Cebu Pacific Airlines: 50% off to international flights.

Louis, Jes and I have all waited for this opportunity and finally we we're able to get hold of it. Actually, we were planning to go to Singapore on May but because we weren't able to get the first promo of Cebu Pac last time, we've decided to wait for another round of promo from the same airline and luckily they've launched another 'half the price' promo.

Unfortunately, the travel period starts on June, meaning we cannot go on May as planned so we decided to book our flight on July instead. Muntikan pang hindi ulet namin mkuha ang flight because of some issue on the credit card that we were using good thing is a friend of ours lend us his CC.

And so now we have 5 more months to wait before our flight and hopefully we will be able to save a lot of money before July for us to enjoy our vacation more. Money is everything when you're traveling but because we were known for our cheapness I think we'll survive and still enjoy the trip even if we're low in budget.

God's Message

'God wants you to know' application in FB is one of the apps that I'm using every now and then because somehow, the messages that always popped out is always related to what's happening in my life at the moment and for some reason the messages helps me to cope and be enlightened. For example is the message below which I read last night while being too depressed.

On this day of your life, ___, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are to trust yourself.
	If you do not, then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do and at the same time resenting their help. Trust in yourself starts with being ok with the consequences of your decisions.
I really felt bad last night and the message gave me some hope and peace of mind. Today, I checked again and guess what message it gave me... On this day of your life, ___, we believe God wants you to know ....that how bad things may look right now means nothing. - it's how good they can be with God's help that counts. In life you can absolutely count on one thing, - everything can turn around in one day, in one minute sometimes. Don't you dare to give up, - you might be a moment away from a windfall. I really love this application because in a way it helps me to hear what God may say to me in my current situation. It's like having an online guidance counselor that gave you some meaningful phrases and its up to you how will you interpret it.

Super Depressed Mode

I couldn't convey my real feelings in English so I'll just state what I feel right now in the most comfortable language that I know, Tagalog or rather Taglish.

My heart is crying. Ngayon ko lang ulet na-feel ito after a year or so. But unlike before na ang dahilan e dahil sa walang kwenta ang trabaho ko, ngayon e dahil sa mga taong napaka-insensitive.

Alam ko naman na I have my own fault pero kelangan bang ipagdiinan pa ng husto.

I want to quit pero ang quitter ko naman kung ganun.

I need a friend right now. Kaso yung mga taong nabubuhusan ko ng sama ng loob hindi ko man lang makausap ngayon. Parang ang layo-layo na nila. Dati pwede silang itext o tawagan pero ngayon hindi na. Gusto ko na talagang umiyak. Ang sama ng loob ko not just because of what I have done, pero dahil I cannot see any support to the people who I thought are my friends.

Seniority is always an issue to my workplace pero ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung feeling na they're pull you down. Alam kong ang favorite past time ng mga tao dun sa area ko e back biting, friendly face sa harap mo but you cannot trust sa likod dahil kung anu-ano ang pinagsasabi. But I did trust them, I didn't imagine that they would do something that bad. Kahit ilang beses na akong winarningan ng mga kaibgan ko (doon na ngayon'y sa ibang hospital na nagtratrabaho) hindi pa rin ako naniwala or rather I believed that they'll do that to me.

I feel bad. real bad at wala akong magawa kundi lumunok at harapin na lang kung anong nasa harapan ko ngayon. But one problem always bring another problem and another and another.

I know hindi pa tapos ang issue ngayon. Marami pang darating dahil lang sa isang pagkakamali ko at natatakot ako sa consequences, so I just need to pray to God to guide me and help me survive.

Friends. Hindi ko alam kung ilan ba ang kaibigan ko or kung meron nga ba ako dun sa area ko. Hindi ko alam kung isa sa definition ng kaibigan ay being a user or not. I know I'm not a user although there are some who I befriend because of the benefits that I could gain but I don't consider them as closest friends. Pero yung mga tinuturing kong closest friends, hindi ko alam kung yun din ba ang tingin nila sa akin.

I wanted to talk to them, to cry on their shoulder pero wala sila. Wala akong mabuhusan ng loob. Maybe it's my defect. I always have a trust issue. I cannot share my deepest darkest secret to anyone. Even though I have a big big problem hindi ko kayang sabihin ng harapan sa kanila kahit sa magulang ko hindi ko masabi, I always just keep it to myself and that would bring up my depression.

Kelangan ko na nga atang magpatingin sa isang psychiatrist or guidance counselor na lang to guide me.

Siguro kaya ko nmang harapin yung problem na ito kung may support system ako mismo dun sa workplace ko pero right now I just feel so alone. Kahit yung isa na tinuturing kong kaibigan suddenly nag-iba ang tingin ko sa kanya. 

Sanay akong i-bully ever since ata pinanganak ako, nakatatak na sa buong katauhan ko na pwede akong ibully. Pero hindi ko kinaya e yung mismong kaibigan mo pa ung hahanap ng butas sa iyo. Maybe she has her own reason. Maybe its her way of guiding me. Pero right now asar lang ang kaya kong ibalik sa kanya. Hindi ako marunong magalit at napaka-weak ko para mag-rebelde. Siguro kaya ako push-over parati.

Hopefully everything will end well. Hopefully kapag natulog ako ngayon, bukas okay na ang lahat. Hopefully.

An Answered Prayer...not once but twice

I'm always praying nowadays, or rather I'm always praying the same line everyday that The Lord may guide me from everything that I do, from saying the right words, doing the right action and making the right decision. But every now and then I always add some wishes and yesterday it happens that He answered those prayers/wishes not once but twice.

Anyways, I always pray that hopefully there would be a progress in my application to work abroad and while checking my email the night before yesterday, I was surprised that I got an email from my supposed-to-be employer abroad and she's asking me if I could send her a copy of important documents so they could process my employment immediately. I'm so happy for that, I'm waiting for that email and finally it arrived. That's the first prayer He answered.

Second, I'm always telling Him that I missed the time that I was able to confide everything to Sir G. We always have a moment before after duty where we would eat then pour every problems we had to each other where one would give his insight and advise. But nowadays, we didn't do it anymore. Lack of time I guess. But yesterday, is different. We had time. We did what we do before. We ate in our favorite burger stand, we talked to each other and I told him my worries and problems and there he is again giving his insights to it. I missed that and thank God he provided me a best friend again. It's been a while and hopefully it won't be the last time.

Pediatric Surgery part 2

Pediatric surgery doesn't stop from coming in, sabi nga ni Dr. D, "parang nalaman ng buong Pilipinas na umuwi na si Dr. L kaya nagsisidagsaan ang mga kakaibang pediatric condition sa hospital."

Anyways, because of my double off status, I'm expecting to be placed on a heaviest case for the day and true enough I was placed as a scrub nurse in another pediatric surgery: Kasai Surgery or Hepatoportoenterostomy.

KASAI SURGERY/ HEPATOPORTOENTEROSTOMY

Kasai Surgery is performed on infants diagnosed to have a biliary atresia, which is a condition where the bile is not able to drain normally from the small bile ducts within the liver into the larger bile ducts that connect to the gall bladder and small intestine.

To perform the Kasai procedure, surgeons first carefully remove the damaged ducts outside of the liver. They use a small segment of the patient's own intestine to replace the ducts at the spot where bile is expected to drain. This segment not only connects to the liver, but also connects to the rest of the intestine. The Y-shaped passageway formed by the Kasai procedure allows bile to flow from the liver into the intestine. (source: Kasai Surgery)

Unfortunately, the surgeon decided not to proceed in doing the procedure after the IOC showed negative result. Even though I wanted to assist in this one of a kind operation it is still a good thing that we didn't proceed for the sake of the baby. She's only two months old and revealing that she don't have a biliary atresia is very lucky. Syempre mas okay na ok ung baby kesa naman mag-scrub ako sa kakaibang procedure, patient first ika nga.