Irritated and Delighted

Two feelings I have felt this day. Irritated in the morning and delighted in the afternoon.

I have a 5am-1pm shift today, and unexpectedly I arrived in the hospital too early, imagine I’m already in the OR around 4:30 in the morning and that is too early.

Anyways, when I saw the staffing of the day, the night shift didn’t know that I’m the 5-1 shift. I accepted it even though deep inside I’m planning to tell the 6-2 HNOD kasi sayang naman ang effort ko na pumasok ng maaga kung 6-2 rin pala bagsak ko.

But eventually, the senior night accepted the fact na ako na nga ang 5-1 so binago na nya yung staffing and lo and behold nagulat talaga ako because instead of having a fair distribution of workload, it looks like he didn’t even considered the conditions of the schedule of the staffs. It’s a known rule, if you’re from a double off, you’ll get the heaviest case of the day, and those who have 2-10shift the day before will have the least workload and so on. But the senior night didn’t even consider it. He didn’t even consider that I’m in the 5-1 shift, so dapat by 1 pm tapos na ang case go para hindi ako ma-overtime. But he still gave me a 10am case, the worse is long standing case yun and we don’t know if it will end by 1 or not.

Irritated as I may be, I accepted the fact that I cannot do anything about the situation I was in. I guess that is always a problem in our area, having an unfair distribution of workload, seniority issues and so on.

Anyways, Sir Ghe asked me to accompany him once again in NSO to get some documents, birth certificate to be exact. At first I thought it was for his daughter again but it turns out it was his and his wife’s.

I’m so broke this week and I was glad Sir Ghe was there once again to help me in my financial problem. As a payment to me going with him in NSO, he paid for my bus fares.

And for the first time, I heard Sir Ghe’s sincere thank you to me, straight from his mouth. Well what I did wasn’t even worth mentioning but I guess it’s really a big deal in Sir Ghe’s part. It’s just sad na because of just small things, nag-aaway sila ng misis nya. But it ends well naman and I guess sanay na si Sir Ghe sa mga ganung situation na na-blablame sya for everything, I just hope and pray it won’t affect their marriage and their child.

Anyways, because Sir Ghe had already moved in to their new house here in Fairview, sabay na kaming umuwi. And surprisingly, mukhang hindi talaga nilulubayan ng computer shop itong kaibigan ko, imagine kahit sa mukhang uncivilized na lugar nila, may isang computer shop paring nakatayo. But that was a good thing because at least we can still play after work at malapit lang siya sa bahay nila. Hopefully I won’t get the grudge of his wife…again.

I really enjoyed accompanying my friend especially in long trips because only during these times that I can share my thoughts to him. I can pour out all my problems to him and listen to his advice and thoughts.

Don't Quit

When things seems awful and you think that there's no other way but to quit, I guess God always find ways to tell you there's still hope. While feeling down, I saw this inspiring poem in the net, and it helps to lighten my day.

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
...And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~Author Unknown~

And I Almost Gave Up

One thing after another and I think the stress in my life is too much to bear anymore, I just have to give up especially now that I don't have any form of outlet or anyone to confide my problems with. But thank God the stressful week is almost over, hopefully the next one wouldn't be that bad. I need a stress-free week.

Anyways, I think my mind coped by doing a selective retention of the things that happened this past few days. I can't really remember what occurred, what I knew is that it is really stressful, starting to the mishaps I made during the time when I'm circulating in the open heart surgery, to the short fight I had with Sir Ghe to the stressful time when I'm the charge nurse for the day....I think it's piling up and I just can't handle too much stress. But all is well now. I made it and I think I can handle stress again but hopefully not next week, the week after next is okay...hehe :)

Anyways, while browsing the net, I heard this song entitled Get It Right, an original song from the series Glee sung by Lea Michelle and somehow I was affected. Although I'm not heart broken like her character in the series, the lyrics made an impact to me. So I chose this song as my Song For The Week!

I really like the following lines: "What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all that you touch tumbles down? 'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things, just wanna fix it somehow but how many times will it take... for me to get it right?"

Resolution and Senior Night

I woke up still distressed because of what happened yesterday, it haunts me even in my dreams and so I decided to call Sir Ghe and asked for forgiveness. I called him several times in the afternoon but unfortunately I cannot get hold of him so I decided to stop calling him, maybe because he's still angry or he's still working and cannot answer my call. After an hour he called back, and we talked for a minute or so. Finally, we're friends again. 

Anyways, today I'll be the senior night. It scares me to hell but I'm hoping we don't have any case for the night. To dispel the toxicity, Benj (my junior night) and I decided to bring foods. She's responsible for the pasta and I'll be bringing the pastries. Pasta and pastries plus movie marathon to avoid the toxicity of the night.

I promised her that I'll be bringing Blueberry Muffins while she'll bring a Tuna Carbonara. But unfortunately, my little experiment didn't go well and so I decided to make an Oatmeal Raisin Cookies instead. 

I'm still scared after all it's my first senior night (I still don't know what to do if ever there's an emergency) but hopefully the foods that we will bring helps to lessen the toxicity. :)

Another Bout of Stressful Day

Getting an NBI clearance is stressful enough but more so if you woke up so early just to avoid the hassle of queuing in a very, very long line just to find yourself doing exactly it.

Anyways, my day starts doing this tedious task and being concerned if I could make it for my 2pm shift duty, seeing how many people gathered together for the day to get their own NBI clearances. Luckily, I was able to get hold of my clearnce around lunch time and so I have two more hours to spare before my duty.

But what stresses me today is not because of my NBI but because I had another fight with Sir Ghe which is so unusual because he never gets angry to me in small matters. We had a fight before, once and it's been a long time already and that's because of a misunderstanding. Now, we had another misunderstanding and he took my comment seriously that he won't talk to me anymore. He's always like that when he's angry, he's always sulking and give you silent treatments but after a day or so, he'll go back to his usual self and forgive you for whatever things that you've done.

Anyways, I already knew him like that but what I cannot understand is how come he didn't know me or how sensitive I could be when someone closed to me treated me like that. As if the friendship we had for so long meant nothing to him. It really bothers me especially when I talked to him and he just went away not speaking a word.

Of course, I cannot hate him. He's the closest thing I got for a brother and he's the closest friend I have in OR. But I cannot deny the anger I felt after what he's done to me - giving me a silent treatment and getting angry for small things.

But because I cannot stand when people got angry because of my action especially when that person is a friend of mine, I think I should make amends to him immediately.

Next Stop....SINGAPORE!

After seeing all the promos of discounted flights gone by, we finally able to grab a promo from Cebu Pacific Airlines: 50% off to international flights.

Louis, Jes and I have all waited for this opportunity and finally we we're able to get hold of it. Actually, we were planning to go to Singapore on May but because we weren't able to get the first promo of Cebu Pac last time, we've decided to wait for another round of promo from the same airline and luckily they've launched another 'half the price' promo.

Unfortunately, the travel period starts on June, meaning we cannot go on May as planned so we decided to book our flight on July instead. Muntikan pang hindi ulet namin mkuha ang flight because of some issue on the credit card that we were using good thing is a friend of ours lend us his CC.

And so now we have 5 more months to wait before our flight and hopefully we will be able to save a lot of money before July for us to enjoy our vacation more. Money is everything when you're traveling but because we were known for our cheapness I think we'll survive and still enjoy the trip even if we're low in budget.

God's Message

'God wants you to know' application in FB is one of the apps that I'm using every now and then because somehow, the messages that always popped out is always related to what's happening in my life at the moment and for some reason the messages helps me to cope and be enlightened. For example is the message below which I read last night while being too depressed.

On this day of your life, ___, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are to trust yourself.
	If you do not, then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do and at the same time resenting their help. Trust in yourself starts with being ok with the consequences of your decisions.
I really felt bad last night and the message gave me some hope and peace of mind. Today, I checked again and guess what message it gave me... On this day of your life, ___, we believe God wants you to know ....that how bad things may look right now means nothing. - it's how good they can be with God's help that counts. In life you can absolutely count on one thing, - everything can turn around in one day, in one minute sometimes. Don't you dare to give up, - you might be a moment away from a windfall. I really love this application because in a way it helps me to hear what God may say to me in my current situation. It's like having an online guidance counselor that gave you some meaningful phrases and its up to you how will you interpret it.

Super Depressed Mode

I couldn't convey my real feelings in English so I'll just state what I feel right now in the most comfortable language that I know, Tagalog or rather Taglish.

My heart is crying. Ngayon ko lang ulet na-feel ito after a year or so. But unlike before na ang dahilan e dahil sa walang kwenta ang trabaho ko, ngayon e dahil sa mga taong napaka-insensitive.

Alam ko naman na I have my own fault pero kelangan bang ipagdiinan pa ng husto.

I want to quit pero ang quitter ko naman kung ganun.

I need a friend right now. Kaso yung mga taong nabubuhusan ko ng sama ng loob hindi ko man lang makausap ngayon. Parang ang layo-layo na nila. Dati pwede silang itext o tawagan pero ngayon hindi na. Gusto ko na talagang umiyak. Ang sama ng loob ko not just because of what I have done, pero dahil I cannot see any support to the people who I thought are my friends.

Seniority is always an issue to my workplace pero ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung feeling na they're pull you down. Alam kong ang favorite past time ng mga tao dun sa area ko e back biting, friendly face sa harap mo but you cannot trust sa likod dahil kung anu-ano ang pinagsasabi. But I did trust them, I didn't imagine that they would do something that bad. Kahit ilang beses na akong winarningan ng mga kaibgan ko (doon na ngayon'y sa ibang hospital na nagtratrabaho) hindi pa rin ako naniwala or rather I believed that they'll do that to me.

I feel bad. real bad at wala akong magawa kundi lumunok at harapin na lang kung anong nasa harapan ko ngayon. But one problem always bring another problem and another and another.

I know hindi pa tapos ang issue ngayon. Marami pang darating dahil lang sa isang pagkakamali ko at natatakot ako sa consequences, so I just need to pray to God to guide me and help me survive.

Friends. Hindi ko alam kung ilan ba ang kaibigan ko or kung meron nga ba ako dun sa area ko. Hindi ko alam kung isa sa definition ng kaibigan ay being a user or not. I know I'm not a user although there are some who I befriend because of the benefits that I could gain but I don't consider them as closest friends. Pero yung mga tinuturing kong closest friends, hindi ko alam kung yun din ba ang tingin nila sa akin.

I wanted to talk to them, to cry on their shoulder pero wala sila. Wala akong mabuhusan ng loob. Maybe it's my defect. I always have a trust issue. I cannot share my deepest darkest secret to anyone. Even though I have a big big problem hindi ko kayang sabihin ng harapan sa kanila kahit sa magulang ko hindi ko masabi, I always just keep it to myself and that would bring up my depression.

Kelangan ko na nga atang magpatingin sa isang psychiatrist or guidance counselor na lang to guide me.

Siguro kaya ko nmang harapin yung problem na ito kung may support system ako mismo dun sa workplace ko pero right now I just feel so alone. Kahit yung isa na tinuturing kong kaibigan suddenly nag-iba ang tingin ko sa kanya. 

Sanay akong i-bully ever since ata pinanganak ako, nakatatak na sa buong katauhan ko na pwede akong ibully. Pero hindi ko kinaya e yung mismong kaibigan mo pa ung hahanap ng butas sa iyo. Maybe she has her own reason. Maybe its her way of guiding me. Pero right now asar lang ang kaya kong ibalik sa kanya. Hindi ako marunong magalit at napaka-weak ko para mag-rebelde. Siguro kaya ako push-over parati.

Hopefully everything will end well. Hopefully kapag natulog ako ngayon, bukas okay na ang lahat. Hopefully.

An Answered Prayer...not once but twice

I'm always praying nowadays, or rather I'm always praying the same line everyday that The Lord may guide me from everything that I do, from saying the right words, doing the right action and making the right decision. But every now and then I always add some wishes and yesterday it happens that He answered those prayers/wishes not once but twice.

Anyways, I always pray that hopefully there would be a progress in my application to work abroad and while checking my email the night before yesterday, I was surprised that I got an email from my supposed-to-be employer abroad and she's asking me if I could send her a copy of important documents so they could process my employment immediately. I'm so happy for that, I'm waiting for that email and finally it arrived. That's the first prayer He answered.

Second, I'm always telling Him that I missed the time that I was able to confide everything to Sir G. We always have a moment before after duty where we would eat then pour every problems we had to each other where one would give his insight and advise. But nowadays, we didn't do it anymore. Lack of time I guess. But yesterday, is different. We had time. We did what we do before. We ate in our favorite burger stand, we talked to each other and I told him my worries and problems and there he is again giving his insights to it. I missed that and thank God he provided me a best friend again. It's been a while and hopefully it won't be the last time.

Pediatric Surgery part 2

Pediatric surgery doesn't stop from coming in, sabi nga ni Dr. D, "parang nalaman ng buong Pilipinas na umuwi na si Dr. L kaya nagsisidagsaan ang mga kakaibang pediatric condition sa hospital."

Anyways, because of my double off status, I'm expecting to be placed on a heaviest case for the day and true enough I was placed as a scrub nurse in another pediatric surgery: Kasai Surgery or Hepatoportoenterostomy.

KASAI SURGERY/ HEPATOPORTOENTEROSTOMY

Kasai Surgery is performed on infants diagnosed to have a biliary atresia, which is a condition where the bile is not able to drain normally from the small bile ducts within the liver into the larger bile ducts that connect to the gall bladder and small intestine.

To perform the Kasai procedure, surgeons first carefully remove the damaged ducts outside of the liver. They use a small segment of the patient's own intestine to replace the ducts at the spot where bile is expected to drain. This segment not only connects to the liver, but also connects to the rest of the intestine. The Y-shaped passageway formed by the Kasai procedure allows bile to flow from the liver into the intestine. (source: Kasai Surgery)

Unfortunately, the surgeon decided not to proceed in doing the procedure after the IOC showed negative result. Even though I wanted to assist in this one of a kind operation it is still a good thing that we didn't proceed for the sake of the baby. She's only two months old and revealing that she don't have a biliary atresia is very lucky. Syempre mas okay na ok ung baby kesa naman mag-scrub ako sa kakaibang procedure, patient first ika nga.

My Say: Sungkyunkwan Scandal

" Is a man's love for another an ignominy? Of course, for scholars who practice Confucianism, the most important virtue in Confucianism, "in", refers to love for your friend ("ren"). In, Eui, Ye, Ji, Shin (ren, yi, li, zhi, xin in Chinese), they're virtues that should be upheld, as scholars following Mencius's teachings. But, instead of seeing the truth as it is, the foolish mind that only sees what it wants to see and believes what it wants to believe cannot be considered wise ("zhi"). To put others in harm's way because of irresponsible curiosity,laughing and enjoying it without knowing that it is a sin, cannot be considered as just ("yi") or proper ("li"). And a heart that cannot trust ("xin") a friend cannot be called a Confucian scholar. No one has the right to judge and point fingers at a person for his love for another with precepts and skewed standards of what constitutes a scandal. If that is the way of a neo-Confucian scholar, I would rather choose to be...homosexual." - Lee Sun Joon

Sungkyunkwan Scandal, a cross-dressing in an era-themed Korean drama, is the new series I'm able to finish last night. Unlike its previous predecessors, this series is not just your ordinary romantic-comedy series but rather it's more on a serious side with sprinkled comedy. Although the series employs the cross dressing theme, putting it in a Joseon era setting gave the drama a different feel and more seriousness unlike other cross dressing series.

With the political struggles of the different faction of that time, how can friendship blossom in four people with different backgrounds and belongs to different factions? With the strict compliance of the ideals of Confucianism in their time, how can they question the tradition and change the place where they lived?

Introduction:

Sungkyunkwan Scandal is set in Sungkyunkwan University in the late Joseon era during the reign of King Jeongjo, revolving around the exploits and love stories of four youths. When her younger brother's illness worsens and their family is in danger of being evicted from their house for lack of money, Kim Yoon Hee enters the school under his name, disguised as a boy in her desperation to support him. There, she becomes friends with the intelligent and upright Lee Sun Joon, the playboy Goo Yong Ha and rebellious Moon Jae Shin.- DramaWiki

My Say:

When a cross dressing series comes to mind, people always associated it with romantic-comedy kind of drama and true enough, series like Coffee Prince and You're Beautiful is a rom-com series and it is always a big hit. But unlike them, Sungkyunkwan Scandal or SKKS for short is not your ordinary romantic comedy, it is romantic, it has comedy but with the addition of the historical element in the drama, it helps to spice up the series, adding more mystery and seriousness to it.

This series is also notable for having a good ensemble of cast portraying lovable characters who wears astounding costumes in a wonderful cinematography giving remarkable dialogues. These are just few of the reasons why SKKS is a hit to the people. But for me, the intriguing plot is the reason why I am hooked in this series. One must say that this is just like other Kdramas but for me, I see some uniqueness to it although I cannot point out what it really is, maybe the perfect harmony of the cast or the intricate connection of the characters to each other or because each characters have their own story, I really don't know.

My Rating: I'm giving this series 7 out of 10 stars for giving a popular themed drama (cross dressing) a different take, for the actors who played their characters well and for the great cinematography and story.

Pediatric Surgery Part 1

I always wondered why we don't have a lot of pediatric surgeries in our department or in our hospital for that matter. We do have occasional pediatric surgeries like circumcision, hypospadia and chordee repair, but that's it, no general surgeries, all genito-urinary surgeries.

Last week, I learned that the reason why we don't have general surgeries for babies that is because almost all of the consultants were either already based in US or training in other countries. But this week is different. A pediatric surgeon who is already based in US, comes back and ta-da suddenly we have a pediatric surgery everyday and luckily, I'm always scrubbing in their surgeries.

Yup! I considered it as a good opportunity especially if you are getting bored to the things that's happening in your life. I mean yes I'm not that yet good in scrubbing or circulating in every surgeries that there is in operating room, but scrubbing and assisting in pediatric surgeries is like a breath of fresh air. Although senior staffs are always telling me that they prefer assisting in geriatrics rather than in pediatrics because if there's an emergency the life of pediatrics is in a more immediate danger than in adults.

Anyways, the first ever surgery that I was able to assist with Dr. L is the endorectal pullthrough.

ENDORECTAL PULLTHROUGH

 Endorectal pullthrough is the treatment of choice for patients who were diagnosed to have Hirschsprung's Disease.

The procedure consists of removing the mucosa and submucosa of the rectum and pulling the ganglionic bowel through the aganglionic muscular cuff of the rectum.

 OPERATIVE PROCEDURE:

The patient was anesthetized and placed in the lithotomy position. A urinary catheter was optional. Given anorectal dilatations half a minute, the right index finger was inserted into the rectum and pressing the anterior rectum-wall onto the above pubic symphysis. The left index finger pressed the abdominal-wall onto the corresponding site above the pubic symphysis, joining the two fingers together. This was the usual peritoneal reflection on children. Then with the right hand holding oval forceps through the anus, inserted forceps into the rectum and touched the left index finger then clipped the rectal wall. Slowly pulled the anterior-rectal wall down to the anus (Figure A) to produce an artificial intussusception between the rectum and the distal sigmoid colon. Fine silk suturing was performed circumferentially at the level of that point which would be used for traction for the distal end. Another circumferential suture was performed parallel 0.5 cm distances above the original one and used for traction for the proximal intestines. The full-thickness rectal wall was truncated between the above two circumferential sutures with cautery, avoiding damaging adjacent tissues when the abdominal cavity was open (Figure B). The full thickness of rectum and sigmoid colon was mobilized out though the anus and the mesenteric vessels were carefully dissected and ligatured (Figure C). The colon was divided until at 15 cm above the most proximal normal site. A definite resection line where ganglion cells were present was determined by intraoperative rapid frozen section. The distal rectum was pulled eversion and was dissected anteriorly 2.5–3.5 cm above the dentate line. The posterior rectal wall was split longitudinally and dissected until 0.5–1.0 cm above the dentate line. The residual segment was resected. After an oblique routine anastomosis was performed (Figure D), the large intestine was pulled back and an anal tube was placed. (Source: CMJ)

THINGS TO PREPARE:

 Pediatric OR set-up

Instruments:
mosquito curve and straight
kelly

Supplies:
silk 2-0
silk 4-0T5
chromic 4-0T5
chromic 5-0
vicryl 4-0T5

Anyways, the operation per se is quite easy with unremarkable event, the difficult part is during the induction of anesthesia to the patient. The anesthesiologist is having difficulty finding a good vein to insert an IV, so instead of starting early, we were delayed for two hours.

All in all, it was fun in a sense that you'll be glad that the baby was able to survive the operation and that he/she will be having a better future. :)

Sunday Market and Emergency Cases

Emjay, Bogs and I have been planning to visit the Sunday markets near our area (that includes the Sidcor Sunday Market, The Lung Center Sunday Market and the Weekend Market in QC Circle) almost a month ago but it was only yesterday that we were able to do that.

Actually, our main goal is to ask for the price of the stall in their market. I'm planning to sell cupcakes and other pastries kasi and we've decided that the best way is to sell it in a Sunday Market.

Anyways, our first stop is the Sidcor Sunday Market which is located in the Eton Centris. I didn't know that they have a Sunday Market until Emjay mentioned it to me. While roaming and looking to the products being sold, an old lady told us that this market was once in the Lung Center parking area and that all of them have already transferred here, so wala na daw kwenta kung pupunta kami sa Lung Center dahil pangit na yung nandun (I think she overheard us talking that we wanted to visit the Lung Center Sunday market).

Anyways, we learned that the stall's rent is just for Php490.00 but we need to enlist first with the products we wanted to sold. If we don't have any competition, they will contact us.

After buying some Vigan Empanada, we went to the Lung Center but unfortunately, the guard mentioned that the Sunday market event was cancelled. And so we went straight ahead to the QC Circle Weekend Market which is not even comparable to the Sidcor Sunday Market, so we didn't bother asking the price of the stalls there.

Because I'm on a 2-10 shift yesterday, I didn't go home after our Sunday Market tour, instead I stayed in SM North and just went to the hospital around 1pm. Unfortunately, instead of having a peaceful Sunday afternoon duty (the usual routine of those who were on Sunday afternoon duty, is sleeping, watching TV and playing computer games), we have an emergency case, and it's not just one but three. They came one after the other.

Our first case is emergency ventriculostomy and our patient to make it worst is pregnant. She ended up in ICU afterwards, just for a close monitoring. Then we had an emergency appendectomy followed by an emergency ex-lap which also ended up in the ICU because of her unstable vital signs.

The weird thing is, all of us who were on duty that afternoon were also on duty the following morning, so we decided that instead of going home, we'll sleep in OR instead.

Good thing is, we were not that toxic today as expected and we were able to go home immediately. No overtime work for us :)

The Toxicity Continues...

Supposedly I'm only getting Sir G's 2-10 HNOD shift and another will take over for his 6-2 HNOD shift but unfortunately, no one was able to get that and they told me na ako na lang dahil ako naman ang nag2-10 HNOD, so all the problems that may occur alam ko dahil ako naman ang nakausap ng mga nagpaschedule.

Anyways, I accepted naman yung challenge even though alam kong mahihirapan ako. At first okay naman until nagkulang na ako sa mga staff ko. Some were still in a case tapos kelangan ng sunduin yung to follow case ko. So I opted to make some student nurses to scrub in one of my case. I even asked our supervisor if she could circulate in one case and fetch some patients.

Hay nakakaloko talaga ang araw na yun, buti na lang at helpful naman yung mga senior staff na nandun, especially Mam Mai.

I really don't like doing the HNOD duties but then some part of myself wanted the challenge. I want to prove to them I could also do well in that aspect. Sabi ko nga practice makes perfect, maybe after a month or so of doing it, gamay ko na sya. Hopefully!

A Different Kind of Toxicity

Toxicity have different meanings in a nurse point of view. It may mean toxic patient, toxic doctor or toxic relatives. But one thing for sure, toxicity means stressful.

In an operating room set-up, being toxic may mean having a lot of cases in a day that even though you're in a 6am-2pm shift, it is 100% sure that you will be asked to do an overtime work and you'll be getting home late. Being toxic may also mean having a toxic case, where the patient have a lot of contraptions when brought to OR or the patient may end up in ICU after the surgery. Or being toxic in an OR may mean having a toxic surgeon or anesthesiologist, that even though your case is simple and the patient is not in an immediate danger, you'll still be having a stressful day.

Anyways, today I experienced a different kind of toxicity and that is being a head nurse for the day or HNOD. I knew from the start that being a HNOD is difficult but it was only yesterday that I experienced how difficult it was. In our department it was not only in one shift that you'll become a HNOD. Aside from the 2-10 shift, you'll be automatically become the HNOD for the 6-2 shift the following day. Mahirap yun dahil every 8 ka na nga, toxic pa buhay mo.

The 6-2 HNOD is difficult because if there's a problem in the schedule, or in the supplies, equipments, rooms, you'll need to face the wrath of the consultants that were being affected. On the other hand, the 2-10 HNOD's toxicity comes from how you need to arrange and prepare the operating room the following day. Ang mahirap dito, every now and then may tatawag to schedule an operation the following day and you need to satisfy what the consultants wanted. But sometimes it was difficult because some of them wanted to do the surgery on a certain time but unfortunately, there are no more available rooms for that surgery.

Anyways, today I'm a 2-10 HNOD. Supposedly tomorrow I should be a 6-2 HNOD but Sir G asked me to have a change of shift with him, so instead of being a 6-2 HNOD, he'll take that and I'll be the 2-10 HNOD instead (yun kasi sched nya, palit na lang daw kami). So in the end, I'm having a 2-10 HNOD again. I'm just hoping that it would not be difficult like yesterday.

Kahapon kasi hirap na hirap na ako. Andaming nagpapasched at wala na akong mga kwarto to accommodate their surgeries ang masaklap pa ayaw nilang ipa ibang araw yung mga surgeries nila. Tsk tsk mga pasaway na serohano.

Goodluck na lang talaga sa akin tomorrow!